Thursday, September 25, 2014

Lumpy Interoffice Mail

I'm always a little suspicious of lumpy interoffice mail….for good reason.

I once found a paper thin squirrel (roadkill) that was perfectly spread eagle. I was amused and horrified by it all at the same time. I immediately went up to our print shop, grabbed some rubber gloves. I pried that jewel off the asphalt and raced upstairs to our offices to show the student designer and laminate it (of course). I was waiting for the lamination machine to warm up when our pressman came back from his break. He bellowed, "who turned on my laminator?" I said, "I did. I just want to laminate this squirrel." And I proudly pulled that squirrel from the envelope with a gloved hand. He looked at my like I was CRAZY and said, "There's no way you are warming up that nasty squirrel by jamming it through my laminator. Do you know how badly that would smell?" Which of course, no I didn't – because ALL I could think of was preserving this find and sending to our boss via interoffice mail. The pressman left shaking his head and muttering something. He returned with two pieces of acetate and scotch tape and suggested I try to sandwich the squirrel between the clear plastic. "Genius," I thought and I was tickled that he was onboard with my scheme. 

The next day, the envelope arrived addressed to my boss (anonymously). I squealed with anticipation when I put it on his desk with the rest of his mail. Today was THE DAY! 

Always the snappy dresser yet always to work late, my boss finally arrived to the office. The usual good mornings, then he sat down to look at his mail. We were in an open configuration with my desk directly behind his. No dividers. I had a clear view. He picked up the envelope, bent the metal tabs back on the envelope and put his hand inside. He slid out the squirrel and starred at it. A moment of silence and then laughter. HUGE belly laughter. John was a man who turned bright red when he laughed. He was so red someone could have mistaken him for being very angry. He immediately pinned it to the bulletin board next to this desk and exclaimed it was the best interoffice gift he'd ever received.

Savor the details.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Strength of Character

Today I visited a friend and mentor dying in hospice care. It has been a day I'd like to both forget and remember for the rest of my life. Do not allow your own fear determine your strength of character. These are the days.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

To the person who parked 4" from my driver's door…thank you for providing the lunch time entertainment. I'm sure it was hilarious for everyone in the restaurant to watch me first try to open the wide, single door on the roadster 4" to get in, not going to happen, go into the restaurant ask who owns the BMW - unsuccessful at finding the SUV's owner, go back out to the car, then try to get in the passenger side and side over the console only to not be able to maneuver my long legs to get them under the wheel, get a charlie horse, crawl back out as I spill my tea on the seat. Scratched me head and then realize I can pop the top, do that, reaching into the car, start it up and lower the windows. Then I step over the door and into the driver's seat. Ahh…success.

I am working on my contortion act. Next show in one week.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

In the Dog House

I slept in the spare bedroom last night because I was tossing and turning. Diesel normally sleeps at my feet so when I moved rooms he wanted to move with me. But I don't normally allow the pets in the spare bedrooms so I shut him out. He cried and cried outside the door and then…Then, he plotted his revenue.

When I went to put my contacts in this morning, I couldn't find the contact case anywhere. The cabinet drawer where I had left the case last night was wide open but no contacts.

Diesel must have slinked into my bathroom, slide open the bathroom drawer, and while playing with the elastic hair bands, pulled out my contact case and flipped the case over the side/top of the drawer. It landed under the sink area of the cabinet. It took both of us 45 minutes to find my contacts.

I've seen Diesel open the kitchen cabinets and bedside table to get to his toys but I've never seen him open the bathroom drawers.

I may need baby locks.

Savor the details.